Or as the strippers in Gypsy told Gypsy Rose Lee, “You gotta get a gimmick.”

But here’s the thing: I don’t wanna. I mean, if I tell you that this is just another blog about how some 24-year-old girl with an English degree and no job is, like, really into movies and watches too much TV, then I wouldn’t blame you for getting the hell out of Dodge and now. Besides which, it would be untrue, because I don’t know that I have the discipline or attention span to keep my eye on just one thing. I have a lot to say. This is somewhere to say it.

So I took this name over a year ago, mostly because it’s the same one I use on a lot of platforms and I have this inexplicable urge to prevent anyone else from using it. I tried my hand at making posts. I fell flat. I forgot it existed. I moved on.

But, like I seem to do with some many things, I’ve circled back to it and deleted everything that used to be here, like that means I’m actually starting over. So let’s try starting over.

My name is Stefanie. I watch too much TV, but I’m still behind on everything. I watch way too many movies and yet I still have a list as long as my arm of films everyone else has seen that I’m only just getting to (and I’m not just talking about how I only just saw The Notebook. I mean, I still haven’t watched Dirty Dancing or Schindler’s List). And for some reason, the characters I love seem to be the ones everyone else hates — or, at least, the characters whose fans take delight in pointing out how everyone else hates them. I’m a 24-year-old with a degree in English, too much time, an inane obsession with pop culture and a blog.

So let’s do this.